This has been quite an eventful year for me, I have experienced things that have forced me to grow up faster than I would have liked to. This year I am turning 27 and God has been very good to me, he has blessed me with good health and strength to continue being the best mother I possibly can be for my son. I must say nothing gives more more joy than seeing how his face lights up when he sees me and how happy he is.
One major lesson that I have learnt the importance of putting yourself first and knowing your worth. As cliche as this sounds trust me when you master these principles, the world will be your oyster! For the past five years I have battled with this, I walked around with blinkers on the sides of face and wool over my eyes. I put everyone else and everything else before me, I made excuses, sacrifices and even lied to make someone else happy. You know when you want something desperately you do everything and anything to get it. Strange enough even though I believed that the end justifies the means, I always had this nagging feeling that there has got to be more to live than being a doormat and being someones submissive! I however knew that the more I try to create this "perfect" haven I deserved more than what I was getting.
We are often taught not to ignore that nagging, still small voice (ironic neh) that helps us make what to do whenever we are faced with difficult decisions to make! I ignored mine so many times because I kept telling my self the end justifies the means! Forced love, being told to change, living for someone else and now knowing my worth worth will never ever happen to me again. "Flying solo" after all these years is quite scary but the future if filled with much promise, the thought is scary and very exciting at the same time. I have started living for ME now, I am laughing more, crying less, I wear what I want to wear, I don't have to put up with being told I'm fat and ugly, I celebrate ME and I must tell you everyday I feel a step closer to being the person I want to be! It feels good! I love me and I love being me!!
Needless to say whenever God takes you out of a situation he does that for a reason, so ke who am I to argue with the man upstairs. Here's to the future!
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| loving life and its prospects |
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| I am a model in my world, lmao *dead* |
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